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BREAD AND BUTTER RELATIONSHIPS

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Many of the relationships our friends, brothers and sisters find themselves in today are as a result of their need of what to eat, where to sleep, what to wear, etc. I call it a bread-and-butter relationship because their livelihood solely depends on this relationship and many of those relationships have a high record of abuse, especially emotional.

Ladies especially fall prey to such relationships. Majority are students and those learning various trades. They have left their parents and guardians in their villages or towns and are in the city staying with a friend or relative.

Sometimes the friends and relatives are cold towards them and do not give them the best of treatments. Such attitudes push them into accepting a promise from a man who proposes love, relationship or marriage to them. They don’t really think twice before jumping into the relationship.

Soon, they move in with their partner. This kind of relationship has resulted in a lot of abortions or births they were not prepared for. There are also those who are in the city looking for job after college or school and due to the high cost of rent, they have to stay with a friend or relative. Many of these people also end up in a relationship, although that was not their primary focus or goal, but because of the cost of living, daily food, cost of transport fares to and fro, coupled with the attitude of those they are living with.

These are the people who easily move in with their boyfriends without thinking twice and depend on him for almost everything. The early days of such relationships are so sweet, nice, and filled with good emotions. But as the days travel on, they realize they are no longer as independent as they want to be or used to be. Beside the cost of food, utilities, etc, their actions, relationships and interactions with others also affect their relationship in a way.

Lots of people in these kinds of relationships have constant conflicts or arguments because of the Exes of their partner. The man is either still keeping in touch with the Ex or they had not ended the relationship but were having issues before the new partner came in, or the lady is still in touch with the Ex for financial assistance, etc.

This relationship cannot lead to a healthy marriage. They are one cause of the increase in divorce figures. Men and women need to know that marriage is just like a house and needs stability or a strong foundation; one core element is adequate resources. If you are not in a position to take care of yourself, meet your basic needs, please don’t go into a relationship.

If you are single, establish yourself before you go into a relationship. God has blessed you with what you need. What to do next is to find your purpose, discover what God has created you to be, what gift, job, skills, talent God has given you. Develop them, go to school if you have to, get into training or mentorship if you have to.

Your relationship, marriage or family depends on your personal development. Don’t go into a relationship or marriage for that. No man can meet your needs. No man can do for you, what you can do for yourself. No man can do for you, what God has done for you. No relationship can carry you for the rest of your life. No one can always be there for you. You go into a relationship to support each other. You don’t go into a relationship to depend on someone.

In conclusion, this is what the Lord says: “Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans, who rely on human strength and turn their hearts away from the Lord.” – Jeremiah 17:5 (NLT).

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