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DON’T FOLLOW YOUR HEART

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This might not sit well with most people, but I’m telling you the truth, it’s a risky thing to follow your heart.

In moments of uncertainty, when you’re not sure what decision to make, people often advise you to “just follow your heart.”

In this realm, that counsel is common sense, but don’t forget that common sense will only produce common results.

Hope you know it’s common for people to have failed marriages that end in divorce?

It’s common for people to have cheating partners, right?

So I know you don’t want common results in your marriage, that’s why you need to pay attention.

That’s the very advice that has led many into situationships and toxic marriages today.

What many refer to as “your heart” is often just emotions, basically what you’re feeling at the moment.

And emotions are not reliable, they fluctuate.

I remember some time ago, a young lady reached out to me, confused about a “serious issue” in her opinion.

She wanted to hear my counsel on a certain matter. What was the issue?

The issue was that she had a boyfriend who was really “good” to her. He treated and supported her. Although he wasn’t where he wanted to be in life, he was trying his best.

A quick background story…

Before they started dating, she had made it clear that she wanted to wait until marriage before having intimacy because she’s a Christian. And every Christian should, anyway, that’s the standard.

Amazingly, he agreed, saying he was on the same page because he was also a Christian. Beautiful, isn’t it?

But along the way, as it usually happens, he started making demands. I believe you’re getting the gist, right?

At first, she stood her ground and said, “No.”

But as time went on, she began contemplating whether to give in because the guy was threatening to look elsewhere.

In fact, the people closest to her told her to “follow her heart,” and she really loved the guy.

That’s why I always tell you, the people you run to for advice in times like this truly matter, because at this point, you’ll be vulnerable.

On one side, she wanted to please God. On the other hand, she was scared of losing the guy.

Be careful of people who place you in a position to choose between them and God. It’s a red flag that mustn’t be ignored.

While we were talking, she said she didn’t want to “lose him”, and since he was a great guy who has been kind to her, “the least” she could do was comply with his demands.

Did you notice the compromise?

You can probably guess what I told her, you know my answer already, right?

I told her to say, “No.” Do you know why?

Like normally, I’ll tell you the truth, give you the options, and allow you to make your choice.

I told her to refuse because she asked me to tell her what I would tell my younger sister.

So, listen to me carefully…

Don’t use sex to compensate anyone. It’s wrong.

Marriage is a covenant, not a transaction.

It’s not an arrangement for one party to foot your bills and sponsor your lifestyle while you pay in kind. That’s anti-covenant in the Kingdom of God.

I’m speaking to believers who call on the name of Jesus Christ. We have a standard that is eternally in place, it’s been sealed, and we must depart from iniquity (2 Timothy 2:19, KJV).

There are people out there who choose to fornicate and cohabitate in the name of boyfriend and girlfriend. It’s normal for them, and that’s their choice.

But on no account should you be pressured into having sex outside of marriage, that’s if you’re still interested in having a godly home.

Don’t whine yourself. You can’t raise a godly home with ungodly habits. You’ll see things in that home that you didn’t bargain for.

Let me ask you this question: When do relationships start having serious issues? Is it before or after sex?

Some of us keep doing the same things over and over in every relationship, yet we expect different results.

If a man loves you so much that he can’t wait to have sex with you, let him do the right thing by taking you to the altar before taking you to bed.

A man who hasn’t led you to the altar shouldn’t lead you to the bedroom. Even if it’s me, say “NO!”

I know a lot of Christians who are facing serious problems in marriage because the foundation was destroyed by immorality.

It’s sex that blind lovers not love.

If someone can sin with you, it’s only a matter of time before they sin against you.

It’s not about being good or kind as a person. It’s about the foundation you’re building your marriage on, it’s about doing what’s right.

You can never be right by doing what’s wrong.

For many people, this is the answer to all the questions you’ve been asking.

The standard has been set forever.

And let me quickly add this, your God-ordained spouse won’t lead you to a point where you have to disobey God.

Yes, they’ll be tempted, and sometimes you’ll be tempted as well. That’s normal.

But temptation is not sin. Everybody is tempted, it’s yielding to it that’s a sin.

On no account should you lose your place in God because you want to keep a man or woman in your life. They’re not worth it. Nobody is worth the place of God in your life.

You can’t keep someone who doesn’t want to be kept, hope you know?

You don’t even have the power to keep anyone to start with, that I can tell you for free.

If the person you’re dating isn’t patient enough to wait until the right time, that’s a red flag you shouldn’t ignore.

Proverbs 28:26 (KJV) has something profound to say;

He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered

Remember, it’s not about following your heart. It’s about following God’s standard both in season and out of season.

I’m unapologetic about this, God says it, I believe it, and that settles it.

But as for you, this is just a counsel, and you can do with it as you please 🙏🏾

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