It’s so true that many are victims of wrong mindset. Many already have some fallacious believe due to their experience or the environment they grew up in about relationship and marriage. A wrong mindset will lead to the wrong marriage.
1) Abusive relationships are inevitable!
Some already believe you can not be in a relationship without the man beating the lady or the lady verbally abusing the man due to their past experience with their parents or people. This is not biblical and godly in any form. Abuse is not love. Abuse is not spirituality. I have seen several marriages of more than 20 years that’s not abusive.
2) You must have multiple relationships before you settle down.
We have seen thousands who never went into two relationships before getting married. Jumping from one relationship to another is not spirituality or virtue. Experiencing multiple and frequent heartbreak is not the fruit of the spirit.
3) All men are evil, maybe because her ex, father, or brother is evil. This is not biblical and spiritual.
4) All women are evil, maybe because his ex, mother, or sisters is evil. I believe some women who are evil while some are very good. Don’t generalize!
5) All men or women cheat.
I have seen several marriages of more than 20 years in which neither the wife nor the husband has ever cheated. A spiritual and watchful woman or man can not cheat! A cheat in a relationship will be a cheat in marriage. I have never cheated in a relationship. I know many men and women who have never cheated in a relationship.
6) A relationship can not survive without sex or romance. I have seen several people who have their first Kiss and sex on wedding night. Do not fall for the gimmick of the devil. Sex is not love. Romance is not love. If sex or romance is love, prostitute would be the most loving on earth.
7) Only men are to provide for the family.
Some sisters already believe his money is our money while her money is not for the family. If actually you would build a MODEL MARRIAGE. You have to change this mindset of only a man must provide. Read the examples of proverb 31 women. If it’s in your ability to help, it’s not bad. There is unity in partnership and shared responsibilities. Don’t go into marriage with only your sex organ. Love is free, but the running cost of love is not free.
8) ONLY MEN OR WOMEN ARE TO LEAD SPIRITUAL ACTIVITIES.
A woman can teach the Bible. A woman can pray. Don’t limit her potential. Allow her to express the gifts of God in her to the glory of God and the benefit of the family. This doesn’t mean you should abandon all spiritual activities for your wife as the head of the family.
9) YOU CANNOT FIND A VIRGIN LADY OR BROTHER to MARRY.
I have heard this a lot from many myopic Minds due to their sexual pervasion. Little Minds says virgins don’t exist.
We have several thousands of ladies and Brothers who are virgins and are maintaining their sexual purity. We have thousands who got married as virgin brothers and sisters. If you doubt me, check the “VIRGIN TILL MARRIAGE” group on Facebook. Because you are no more a virgin, don’t generalize virgins don’t exist.
10) A brother should be the only one who makes calls and buys gifts in a relationship.
I have seen several ladies tell me, “He has never bought me gifts or give me money.” I asked her, “What have you bought or given him also? She said nothing 😂😂😂. Giving is not met for only a gender. True Lovers are givers!
11) A sister or brother can not be very attractive and be spiritual at the same time in a relationship. Stop wearing rags, over size trousers, and skirts, all in the name of spirituality. Shabby dressing is not spirituality. Dress to carry the king!
12) Only women are to be domesticated.
If you believe only women are supposed to be in the kitchen, back and take care of the children, sweep the floor, watch, and iron clothes; then you need to change your orientation today. No verse in the entire Bible says men should not be domesticated, too.
13) Your wife must be a full time house wife.
Don’t impose this on her if she doesn’t buy the idea. It’s very wrong to marry an adult and keep her under your roof due to insecurity. Allow her to manifest her gifts and potential. She is not made for baby making only.
14) I will change him or her after we get married.
Some accept proposals from or propose to a sinners with the view to change him or her. Beloved, you are not Holy Spirit. You can’t change anyone. Whatever you can’t cope with in marriage, don’t tolerate a relationship.
15) Early marriage is bad.
Marrying early or late is not a certificate that you would have a successful marriage. You can marry early and marry wrong, vice versa. All what that matters is maturity, determination, and commitment to make the marriage work. My mentor married at age 25 as a young lady, and she’s enjoying her marriage after 20 years. There was an actress who married at age 19, and her marriage is still standing after 20 years. I have seen someone who married late and still experienced bad marriage. The success of a marriage is not based on age but maturity. Age is not maturity.
Proverb 23:7
KJV:For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.
Proverb 4:23
KJV:Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
