Last Friday evening, I decided to refresh myself at a popular Eatery before going home after a hard day’s work.
Sitting next to my table were these two guys whose discussion was almost disturbing the rest of the people at the Eatery. One seem to be bitterly complaining to his friend about his wife. “My wife wan kill me”, “she too like money”, “she is too demanding, infact I am tired of her nonsense.
From his outerances and countenance you will know he just finished a fight with his wife before coming to the bar. Probably the friend called him out in other to quell the situation.
The friend was trying to calm him down. Johny cool down nah, what is the matter? I thought you and your wife have out grown this constant fight that has almost become a ritual. Ahh ahh, be a man, calm down and tell me what happened.
Then the man started, could you imagine? before I use to give my wife N30,000 as the home Upkeep money. She was complaining that the money was not enough. then she will be asking for small small money untill next Upkeep money. One day I came back from work to discover that NEPA has cut our light because she failed to pay. I was not happy because I have already given her the monthly Upkeep, when I asked, she said there is no money. Then I decided to take up the payment of NEPA bills which is about N5000 per month. The next month she still complained and we quarreled as usual.
To make her happy, I increased the monthly Upkeep to N45,000. To my surprise, I came back today, just barely three weeks after giving her the money and she continued with her usual way of demanding for more money. That’s why I have to beat her up.
Even though, I was keenly listening to their conversation, they did not care. Considering the way he was glancing at me from time to time, it seems he wouldn’t care if I say something.
Then, I adjusted closer, and assisted his friend in calming him down. After calming him down, I asked him, how many children do you have, he answered 4, then I asked, do you have a house help, he said yes, I also asked, is there any other person living in your house, he said yes, his wife’s sister is living with them. That is a total of 6 people, if he is added, there will be total of 7 people living in the house.
I now asked him to get his calculator. That I am going to teach him a simple calculation that will surprise him, and help him manage his family. He brought out his mobile phone and opened the calculator.
Then, I asked him, how much do you think is the cost of one plate of home made food. i.e. food prepared in the home without additional Restaurant cost. He thought about it for a while but couldn’t come up with a figure.
Then I wadded in and told him, let’s say a plate of home made food costs N100, which you know is impossible because an average home made food for a low income family should cost between N150 to N300 depending on the quality.
If one person consumes N100 per meal, then s/he will consume N300 in a day, if he takes breakfast, lunch and dinner.
That means s/he will consume N300 x 30 =9,000 in a month. He was pressing the calculator without knowing were I am driving at.
N9,000 x the six (6) people in your house = N54,000 excluding you. If your cost is added, let’s say it’s not up to N,9000 because you don’t usually eat lunch in the house. Let’s say it is N200 x 30 days = N6,000 if your lunch money is excluded.
Then the total food cost in your house per month = N60,000, that is, if a plate is N100. Remember that a plate of food can never be N100.
If the average cost is N150, then you should be thinking of N90,000 per month as the food money for your home. Remember, we have not considered other expenses.
If the average cost is N200, which is still not too costly for a good home made meal, then you should be thinking of N120,000 per month as the food money for your family.
At this point, the man was looking at me in utter surprise with his mouth wide open.
The friend immediately cut in awe, thank you my brother, thank you my brother, you are God sent, I have been telling this my friend that women hardly waste money but he never agrees.
I now asked the man to call his wife immediately and apologise to her, which he obliged, men have ego issues but not in this case because he has realised how wrong he was.
He called the wife and said “Babe, I am so sorry for hitting you, please forgive me. I have realised my mistake, please forgive, At this point we can hear the faint voice of his wife crying and sobbing at the other end.
We asked that the phone be put on speaker And we all apologized to her and narrated to her about our calculation, how she is so right. We can feel her joy in the tone of her voice thereafter.
We all went home happy.
Now imagine that for food alone. The children are always with her and they will demand for somethings that can’t wait for you.
Honestly words can’t express our appreciation of your efforts and we always pray for you may God continue to bless your hustling.
And why is it that after giving a woman “upkeep”, that’s all. Why can’t you be dashing her money sometimes? Drop something in her account and tell her”that’s for you babe”. Money is the most appreciative gift a woman can receive; and gifts you know promotes love. And guess what! She would still spend most of it on the home and you!
Be sensitive to her conditions and feelings. When she’s buxed up, you will see her beaming and cooking all kinds of delicacies, and when she’s broke, you will see it in her and how she will be managing things around. It’s not easy and she’s going thru stress doing that. If you have the means, pls, ease her stress and don’t think”shebi I gave her so so amount, maybe she’s keeping it and pretending. Nobody will be pretending and be suffering. Not All women are trying to steal their husbands money and don’t turn your wife to that.
Women are indeed amazing, they try much hard to keep the home going without little or no appreciation. When they go to market, they will price and price and will not hesitate to go round the whole market to ensure they are buying at the best price.
Men, let us appreciate our wives a little, please.
