It’s very true that when you love someone, when you have a deep bond or connection with them, when you have travelled through the thick and thin of life together, you don’t want to lose them. It also doesn’t mean you don’t want the best for them or you don’t want to see them happy or do well in life even if it’s without you.
Such a feeling doesn’t make you a jealous person. It’s a sign of true love and genuine concern but it is not a sign of jealousy. Many at times people become over-possessive and intend to hurt others in relationships under the cover of the love they have for the person. You don’t harm someone you love because you are afraid of losing them, that’s not love but pure madness.
If you are in a relationship with someone you are not married to, just studying for marriage, and you believe he or she is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, you do things that makes them happy. You create beautiful memories that makes it difficult for them to leave the relationship. You show them how good a person you are so they know your value and the role you play in their life, how important your presence in their life is, so they won’t leave you for someone else.
And if they decide to leave you for someone else after being good to them, you only wish them well or the best. Sometimes people don’t know how important you are in their lives until you leave them. So, leave everything in the hands of God and the future. Time will reveal how precious you are.
That’s what love is about. It’s not about abusing the person, physically or mentally or emotionally or going to the extent of harming those you see as a threat. When you do that, you are only displaying insecurity.
People who do that are insecure, there is something wrong with them which they are afraid to deal with. If you have such a feeling, it is time to sit down with yourself, face yourself and ask honest questions like “what is it that I am using my relationship to cover up?” And work on yourself to fix it. Your value should not be tied to a relationship or another person. Don’t be a deficit in any relationship, you end up killing your partner.
If you believe you are a good person, then when someone leaves you, they don’t take away your goodness. If you believe you are kind, when someone leaves you, they don’t take away your kindness. If you believe whatever you did for your partner or the one you are in a relationship with was out of pure love, that you did it from the heart and not because you were buying or renting them in the name of a relationship, you should have no issue if they don’t want to be with you. You wish them well.
To the married, your spouse is not your victim or culprit or slave or possession. They agreed to be with you in the name of love and marriage. They were not forced. How you treat them will make their stay last. If they are not happy with you because of something you are doing wrong, be honest with yourself and work on that. Your refusal to do so, by punishing them, abusing them all in the name of being protective or jealous doesn’t mean you love them.
A healthy relationship is between two healthy persons. Anytime you have issues in your relationship, is a perfect time to work on yourself. Leaving yourself not worked on and forcing people to live with you is not a sign of love but abuse. Jealousy is such a terrible disease and if not taken care of can cause the life of a person and their relationship with others. If you are sick of that I won’t just wish you Get well soon! But plead with you to seek help.
People having issues with low self-esteem and low self-confidence display Jealousy. They show a sign of insecurity when they know or believe someone else can treat their partner better than they do.
Love is meant to build someone up whilst jealousy does the opposite of tearing them down. What your jealousy does to your relationship is that, it tells your partner you are not good to be with that is why you are forcing them to be with you at all cost.
In conclusion, “There is no fear in love; perfect love drives out all fear. So then, love has not been made perfect in anyone who is afraid, because fear has to do with punishment” – 1 John 4:18 (GNT).
