No doubt, a number of Christians are into premarital sex. Very bad! But maybe majority of them will stop if they really know how to avoid it. So this post is for those people who really want to stop committing this grievous sin. Premarital Sex is a dangerous sin you must never continue in. This is the time for you to flee, and below are the 6-Steps you should take:
1) YOU MUST BOTH AGREE ‘ENOUGH IS ENOUGH’: It takes two people to commit fornication and it also takes two people to stop it. No matter how much you personally desire to stop fornicating, your wish is like an elephant that will never fly except your partner has a similar desire. Two can only walk together if they agree. So the starting point is for both of you to agree you want to stop sinning against God in your relationship. It must be a sincere desire backed up with the actions below.
2) STOP ISOLATING YOURSELVES: Fornication always takes place behind closed doors and to stop it, you both must put a permanent end to locking up yourselves alone behind closed doors. It is as simple as that. No single Christian ever had sex before the crowd. You always have it in the closet—where you always isolated yourselves. So if you truly want to stop fornicating, you need to stop isolating yourselves. Some of the steps you need to take in this regard are these:
i. No more indoor visit! Never again!
ii. No more spending the night together in each other’s apartments.
iii. No more going to his house to do his house chores. That’s unchristian!
iv. Your dates, prayers meetings and discussions should be done in the open. No more behind closed doors meeting of any type.
3) NO TO FOREPLAY: A Christian sister once said “The first few days of our relationship was fun with lots of cuddling and kissing and before we knew it, we’ve started having sex. I had wanted to wait on sex till I’m married but I couldn’t resist him. I really didn’t know what came over me and we’ve been having sex nonstop since then…” Well, nothing came over her aside the fact she triggered her hormones and they responded. More often than not, foreplay will lead to sex. By the way, foreplay is defined as sexual stimulation that precedes sexual intercourse. In other words, kissing, caressing, cuddling, petting and touching are all preludes to sex. They are not meant to be done just for the fun of it, they are meant to usher in sexual intercourse. So if you don’t want to have sex at any time, you have no business engaging in any of them. If you really want to stop doing sex in your relationship, you must completely put an end to all forms of foreplay.
4) BE ACCOUNTABLE: Christian Relationships are not to be done in secrecy. The fact that you are fornicating simply means you and your partner are vulnerable to sexual immorality. For you to be invulnerable, it is wise for you to subject the activities in your relationship to your mentor, pastor, parent or reliable Christians who you must make up your mind to regularly update with your activities (visits, dates and all) before you carry them out, for your own good. It is better to ‘expose’ your weaknesses and be helped than allowing your sins to find you out and be shamed by the devil.
5) EXAMINE YOUR TRIGGERS AND PREVENT THEM: As Christians, our sexual hormones can remain stable till our wedding night if we don’t put unnecessary pressures on them. I have been them and so I can attest to this truth. But the fact that you are fornicating simply means there’s something you do that triggers your sexual hormones and for you to successfully tame your sexual hormones, you must stop exposing yourself to these triggers. So both of you need to examine the antecedents of your past sexual escapades:
Ask yourselves: What were the circumstances, feelings, discussions, frame of minds etc that have led to the previous fornications:
If it’s dirty chatting, stop it.
If it’s pornography, stop it.
If it is the things you read, watch or hear, avoid them.
There should be no excessive touching and hugging
— No excessive phone calls and late night chatting etc
Just pinpoint your triggers and subdue them. To thyself be true!
6. START ENGAGING YOURSELVES IN GODLY ACTIVITIES: Idle hand is devil’s workshop! Idle relationship is the perfect abode for immorality. Whatever you sow in your relationship is what you reap. If all you do is sowing to the flesh, you keep reaping corruption. If you sow to the spirit, you reap purity. For your relationship to be free of sexual immorality there’s a vacuum that must be filled deliberately with godly activities.
- Have at least a day in a week to fast and pray together: you need the grace of God to survive.
- Take up godly and ministerial projects together.
- Start to study biblical characters, topics and chapters.
- You can jointly get involved in some of the stuff going on in your individual local Churches and spaces
- Attend educative and religious programs.
- Go for evangelism and do follow up.
- Spend time together in the presence of godly couples.
Engage in productive activities to strengthen your relationship and cut activities that provoke sexual atmosphere.
Meticulously observe these 6 procedures and your struggles with fornication will be over.
Is there any other one you think should be added? Kindly comment them below for the benefit of everyone.
NOTE: If you have ever had sex in your relationship, report yourself to your mentor or pastor. If you have never had sex in your relationship or you are yet to be in a relationship, take note of the above 6 processes for your benefit.
God bless you!