It’s about taking ownership of your emotions in a conflict situation. It’s about controlling negative emotions and not taking them out on your partner in an unhealthy or unkind way. And it’s about realizing that you’re in charge of dealing with the baggage you’ve got, from your past relationships, childhood, or whatever.
Of course, long term relationships or marriages are a breeding ground for these past issues to come to light. When we are so comfortable with another person, this allows us to be vulnerable (for better and for worse). This is when “stuff” comes up. Your old issues, neuroses, anxieties.
When this happens, remember to take a step back and recognize the truth of what’s going on. Observe where these emotions are coming from (hint: it’s probably from deep inside you).
COMPATIBILITY MATTERS BUT ACTION MATTERS MOST
Compatibility is a huge part of selecting your life partner. And while it’s certainly important to pick someone you’re compatible with, there’s so much more to it than that. Happy relationships can be had between people who aren’t necessarily compatible on paper but who make a tremendous effort every day to understand one another, communicate clearly, and strive to meet each other’s needs. Effort is the most vital principle of making a relationship work.
Of course, there’s something to be said for relationships that are going to be somewhat “easier” from the get-go and compatibility can help facilitate that. Compatibility goes far beyond sharing similar interests or opinions. Sharing the same values is what points most to relationship compatibility, because you’re both approaching the relationship (and life) from very similar perspectives.
This is going to make things go much smoother for you in many ways.
Ultimately, compatibility is just a word. What matters most is choosing the right partner and being the right partner yourself. Being good partners and good people.