One of the very things which kill beautiful relationships is a partner who shouts on their spouse; one who doesn’t want them to speak out when there is an issue and feel they are right while their partner is wrong. These people feel that whatever their partner says is not important but only an excuse or justification for their wrong doing or mistake.
But that is not the truth. This behaviour is mostly found with men, especially those who are having a huge age gap between them and their partner. They make her feel like a little girl who doesn’t know anything. An object that needs to be controlled to achieve their needs.
This behaviour hurts the woman so much, reduces her to be timid, quiet and boring. She prefers to coil into her own world and cry than talk to her man. She always feels misunderstood, like being in a relationship with a stranger. She carries around a heavy weight of explanations which were not given an audience. She is angry within her, frustrated for not being able to share what is killing her inside. Even a criminal is heard before imprisonment, but in her case she is not. She feels a criminal is treated better than her.
When she feels she cannot take it anymore, she wants out of the relationship so she can find the person who will listen to her, someone she can empty the load which is killing her. Someone who truly loves and cares about her.
Men should always remember they are not in a relationship alone; no matter their age, experience or number of exes they had in the past. You need to understand your woman just as you want her to understand you. Give her listening ears just as you want to be heard.
Just because you think or believe you are right does not mean your partner is wrong. There are two sides to every issue, there are two views to every argument. It is not fair just to conclude on what you see from your side or views only.
Give them the chance to air their side, express their frustration, to tell you why they did what they did, why they acted in such a way. By so doing, you get the opportunity to learn about them. Get to know things you don’t know about them.
But when you refuse to do that and shut them out, they feel there is no sense in being in the relationship. They feel like a child; someone who does not know her right from wrong, a child who does not know what she is doing yet she gets punished and is not allowed to cry. She will get sick.
Relationship is not about title, it’s not about families and friends knowing us, it’s not about sharing a room, it’s not about taking cute pictures together; it’s about knowing the one you took the picture with, its about knowing the one you are in the relationship with, its about maintaining the connection you share.
Help her grow with you, make time for her, listen to her and be patient with her. One of the attributes of love is patient. If you are not patient with her, it means you don’t love her. Support her efforts that will fill her heart with the peace she needs. Let her happiness mean more to you than her faults.
In conclusion “Intelligent people are always ready to learn. Their ears are open for knowledge” – Proverbs 18:15 (NLT).
