When a new year start, lots of people are writing all kinds of goals which is a good thing to do. But when it comes to relationships, people are not realistic with their goals and when they do, they don’t talk about it with their partner.
This life is a journey and getting a partner means you are looking for someone to travel with. You don’t just travel with people whose destination in life you don’t know.
If you want to marry at the end of this year, it’s important that your partner knows. If you want to have a child before the end of this year, let your partner know.
Don’t get lost in the phrase “I am in love” and think every relationship leads to one’s destination or to where they want. Catching feelings for someone, vibing, enjoying each other’s company, meeting each other’s needs are not enough to know their destination or goals.
People need to know what they want in their relationship and share that with their partner. It is rather unfortunate to hear people asking their partner in the middle of their relationship “When are you coming to see my parents?”. “When are you taking me to see your people?”, “When are you proposing” “When are you going to talk about marriage?”.
As soon as you find yourself asking these questions above, it means your expectations have not been met, you are tired of waiting for your partner to initiate some of these moves.
You don’t want your partner to feel pressured or forced to do things to make you happy against their will, at the same time you don’t want to waste your time in a wrong relationship and you don’t want to set yourself up for a broken heart.
So, check with your partner where they are with you, their goals and plans, their timelines, etc. Such acts are not desperation but being wise. There are people who are forced to become single parents or are disappointed greatly because they failed to do this exercise.
And if you find out, you are not on the same page, it simply means you are not meant to be together or travel together. Know the difference between goals and dreams. Don’t mistake one for the other.
In conclusion “So be smart like snakes. But also be like doves and don’t hurt anyone” – Matthew 10:16b (ERV).