Single in the house, please read carefully and digest well
We need to get some fact settled first. It is absolutely normal to have sexual urge as singles, it has nothing to do with demon, unbeliever or a believer. It is how you handle it that will determine who you are.
As humans, we’re created with 3 legitimate hungers.
They are: hunger for FOOD; hunger for WATER and hunger for SEX, you will be termed abnormal and recommended for help if you don’t have these hungers.
It is absolutely healthy and normal to have sexual urge as singles. This shows that you’re normal and your sexual organs are functioning normally and that you’re capable of enjoying sex in marriage, when you eventually married.
But you must as well be guided that the fact that God gave you the sexual urge as single is not a license to engage in immorality, masturbation, lesbianism, homosexuality or fornication, because God frowns against such.
Why God gave us sexual desires as singles is to learn self control and self discipline. No matter what you possess or have in life, without self control or self discipline you will fumble with it, so also in our sexuality. We need to practice self control and self discipline.
Even the married do exercise self control, because marriage is not a guarantee that you will always get sex , when you want it; it is not every time your partner may be there to meet your sexual needs. If you haven’t learnt self control and self discipline as single, it will be difficult to learn in marriage. It is lack of self control and self discipline that causes adultery in marriage.
I am yet to see a person eat shit and say his/her reason for doing that is to satisfy hunger for food.
In the same vein, I am yet to see a person drink water from the sewage or gutter and blame it on excessive thirst for water. Not even a mad person does this.
Then, this calls for query on those who resort to fornication, lesbianism and masturbation just to quench sexual hunger. If you can’t go on the extreme to satisfy the other two legitimate hunger, why take the risk and break the commandment of the Almighty God just to satisfy your sexual hunger?
This shows that sex is actually overrated and given too much priority.
May I say this, nobody ever dies of sex starvation, but many have contracted diseases and traded their destiny for sex. Your life is too precious to be exchanged for just a few minutes of sexual pleasure.
Now let’s consider how to control your sexual urge as single…
🔹 You will need to identify your sexual triggers and deal with them or avoid what trigger you sexual, fir instance don’t watch pornography video (blue film)
🔹 Always reassure yourself that you are on a sexual fast, and it will last as long as you single.
🔹 Avoid idleness, you need to occupy your mind with God’s word and what can better your lots generally.
An idle head and mind are the devil’s workshop. It is when you are idle that you will start scheming on how to fulfill the desire in an illegitimate manner. Channel that sexual energy into a more productive task and activities.
🔹 Watch your thoughts and imagination
The scripture said ‘guard your heart with diligence for out of it are the issues of life.’ Sometimes, imagination can be stronger than reality, so watch your thoughts and imaginations. Jesus said whoever look on a woman/man and lust after the person has already committed adultery in his heart. So watch your thoughts and imaginations.
🔹 Sensor what you view
You can’t feed your eyes with heavy pornographic stuff and expect not to be sexually ignited or charged. No, it’s not possible.
The eye is the window to the heart. It process and retain what the eyes sees. The mind tend to retain more of obscene and pornographic images and they don’t leave as fast as they come in. So be careful of what you see.
🔹 Watch your conversation
Chastity demands you avoid saying some things. You can’t sex chat or say romantic stuffs and expect not to be sexually excited, that is impossible.
🔹 Avoid cuddling, smooches and snuggles. Avoid Romance and kissing with opposite sex. Romance is a forerunner of sex! Sex is not all about penetration. Emotion is stronger than knowledge. You can’t predict the romance that will finally lead to penetration, so it’s better you avoid it from the start
🔹 Watch how you touch yourself when you’re lonely.
Many have been caged with the habit of masturbation and lesbianism just by a gentle and innocent touch of sensitive parts of their body, and this has become a habit hard to break off.
If you don’t want to ignite sexual passion by yourself, watch how you touch your sensitive parts especially when you’re alone.
🔹 Carefully chose your circle and inner friends. You can’t claim to practice chastity and mingle with those that always talk about their sexual escapade or say vulgar stuffs, or those that are expresses sexual exitement. With time they will begin to taunt you and make you feel different and inferior. If you’re not matured enough, you might want to feel belong by proofing to them that you are up to task.
🔹 Flee youthful lust and every appearance of evil.
You need to keep your spirit active so as to decode evil and chart an escape route before the evil catches up with you. This mean you won’t box yourself to a compromising position with an opposite sex. And even if you’re accidentally box to a tight spot, remember Joseph and flee.
🔹 Set a boundary with opposite sex. Don’t be too loose or free with opposite sex with mind that it we are coping.
Minimize your closeness with opposite sex. Familiarity breeds contempt. In physics unlike charges will always attract themselves. So also, male and female will always attract themselves. You can’t keep two magnets in close range and say they won’t attract themselves, that’s impossible. To prevent the attraction, keep them apart.
This doesn’t mean that you should be antisocial, but you need to set a boundary with opposite sex without presence
🔹 Watch your diet.
It is a known fact that certain foods, drugs, fruits, herbs and vegetables increases sexual desires as a result of their aphrodisiac content. Controlling your sexual urge will mean that you have to avoid some of these foods and drugs. Consuming this kind of food is like adding petrol to a burning fire. Get to know them and avoid them.
🔹 Motion
Emotion is the cause of the sexual urge. If you remove the ‘E’, it becomes motion. That means you need to make a move before the emotion overwhelm you. Move from that lonely place, move from that tempter, move from that object. You can’t be be having sexual desires and you go lie down idle fantasising on all sort of things and expect to have victory, no, it is not possible.
So make a move before your emotions overwhelm you and destroy you.
🔹 Renew your mind with the word of God.
You need to be loaded with the word of God so as to effectively resist temptation and the tempter. Engross mind with the word of God and continually ask for grace to lead the life of an over comer.
Finally, have a strong belief that chastity is possible and doable if only you discipline yourself and daily rely on the grace of God. Relying on God has to begin every day, don’t rely on yesterday’s grace, because it won’t see you through today.
By strength shall no man prevail.
Know this for sure, God will not ask you to do what is impossible.
Chastity is a virtue and it still pay
