I discovered an evil these days in my generation, many are becoming more and more desperate in their quest to marry. Is Marriage a competition? Definitely NO! In a competition overtaking is allowed but not in the matter of marriage you need to wait for your time.
As a counselor no doubt in the fact that I love marriage and I will continue to encourage singles to gain admission into this beautiful institution but I will never force anyone. I terminated a premarital counseling session with an intending couple sometime ago when I discovered that it was the man pushing, coercing and forcing the lady to marry him even when it was visible to the blind that she was not ready for it.
“If you are not ready please don’t throw your heart into the ring!”
The fact that your mate or those not up to your age are getting marry doesn’t mean that you are forgotten. Yours will definitely come, don’t rush.
Many people especially ladies these days are in serious marital woes because they just want to be called by someone’s name. This is worrisome. Am always in touch with married ladies and I know what some of them are passing through. Some of them that I had opportunity to counsel before marriage, and simply because of pressure went for anybody are now living in regret.
Even if we teach separation spitting fire and brimstone, Africans especially women culturally and religiously are conditioned to “find a way to enjoy the misnomers been melted out on them in marriage” to make matters worse many men “intentionally deployed the weapons of poverty” to keep their wives in marriage, they make their wives perpetually dependant on them, hence the inevitability of the culture of silence (Read my article on WHY ABUSE MEN/WOMEN EMBRACE THE CULTURE OF SILENCE).
Don’t allow anyone push you to marriage, your parent can mount pressure, the society too but you are the only one that will face it, it is one man for himself. What they can only do when the chips are down is to encourage you to endure. God can never be blame for your marital woes.
Many times we become so desperate that we mount pressure on God to do our will, He will succumb but the outcome won’t be favourable. In 1 Samuel 8, the Israelites demanded for a king, when Samuel was getting old. Samuel was displeased but God granted their request. The rest they say is history. We all Know the outcome of it.
So give Him time as He is working behind the scene to fix whatever is wrong. He never fails and we must trust Him. It may be an opportunity in disguise to develop yourself more for the task ahead.
Make good use of the time to develop yourself spiritually, morally, even financially because no sensible man would want to marry a liability. Ladies too don’t want to marry a liability as husband. So preparation can’t be too much.
Know your worth as a lady don’t be desperate for acceptance. Some guys loves desperate lady. Keep praying, keep believing in Him. Faithful is He that promised.
Listen up guys and ladies, marriage is not a competition.
Take your time.
Serve God. Serve man, because the best way to know yourself is to use yourself in the service of others.
Fall in love. No crime in doing so.
Nurse your ambitions.
Groom your relationship because forever is too long a time to be unhappy.
You know I love you.
An impactful and responsible relationship and marriage is possible.
