Proverbs 17:7 says, “Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a MATTER separates close friends”.
Wait a minute? Is God actually encouraging a cover-up? Why should someone conceal a transgression? Why would it be loving to not bring out a sinful situation?
Solomon is not encouraging a cover-up, but rather is giving us wisdom as to how to be a loyal friend. The one who is concealing the transgression – is one who is doing so out of love. The love that this one seeks is a love that exists between husband and wife – a love between friends. It is love and a loyalty to the one that we love that keeps us from repeating a matter – bringing up the past.
We choose to forgive and set such things aside. Rather than bring up a sin again – we choose to conceal such things. This is not a cover-up but rather forgiveness and releasing the one we love from having to constantly bear the guilt of their transgression before us.
Solomon tells us that it is the one who “repeats a matter” who separates intimate friends. The word “repeats” is so vital here. It means that the issue has been brought up – it has been mentioned, but now it is over – and it will not be mentioned again – it won’t be repeated! There has been forgiveness.
When there is NO forgiveness, such a breach will separate even intimate friends. This is the person who chooses to remind the one at fault again and again of their error. And this will separate good friends. The true friend – the one who seeks that intimacy with a friend – forgives and moves on – leaving the sin and choosing to remember it no longer.
FAITHFUL SPIRIT CONCEAL MATTER
The Bible says in Proverbs 11:13 “A faithful spirit conceals a MATTER”. Relationships NEED faithful spirits (faithful – someone you can TRUST with your secrets).
A faithful, loyal friend or partner will conceal a matter. An unfaithful, disloyal friend or partner will not. He reveals secrets, he will blab matters all over town.
Revealing secrets is a betrayal of trust. That is not a faithful spirit. A faithful spirit can be trusted, entrusted with secret matters and is faithful to KEEP secret matters secret. There are things that happen in a home that should be KEPT in the home. There are things said in confidence that should be KEPT in confidence. Faithful spirits honor that trust.
That faithful, trusting spirit aids in BINDING relationships. Like it or not, this is God’s Word on the subject: if you want to promote love and thus BIND relationships, then learn to COVER transgression and do not repeat matters.