It is a known fact in this part of the world that society in general doesn’t respect women. The kind of respect or treatment accorded a man who is a human being varies from what they give to a woman who is also a human being. In some cultures women are treated less than human which is rather unfortunate.
A woman with a child or two out of wedlock and without a husband is deemed as used up or second-hand person or someone who has low moral standards and because of that not much respect is accorded her. Some end up with name tags or labeled as Born One, Born Two.
Some families even vow or swear to disown their son for attempting to marry such a lady. But the story is different for a man with one child or two. Society and even some women see nothing wrong with that. It is so okay for a woman to agree to marry such a man without reservation, than it is for a man without a child to agree to marry a woman with a child.
Maybe because of that we have Born-one woman but we don’t have Born-one man. But when it comes to men we say he is single with a child. What that means is, it is okay to marry him, the child is not a problem. But with the woman it is not okay to marry her because the child is a problem. Again, whatever reason the man stated was the cause of him having a child is valid but that of the woman is mostly not valid.
Yet the woman slept with a fellow man and not an animal. How can a saint have relationship with the devil? To the extent of having a child? It is shameful to hear a man who is not a virgin call a woman who is not a virgin name like prostitute. It looks like womanizing is more accepted than prostitution. One might ask why is it so?
The answer, as we try to run away from, is a battle of gender or sexes. Many women agree to sleep with men who are not married to them because the said men claimed they loved her. He knows very well he is not married to her, and the right thing to do is to get married first; but he wont and rather disrespect her by taking away the dignity or what society calls respect, and sadly leaves her to her fate.
It was after the sex before many of these men remembered she had a bad character and can’t live with her. What that means to the woman is, a man can love you but disrespect you. So she finds it hard to tell the next man she is having a child or is not a virgin because she might be rejected or disrespected, Some women are bold enough to tell the man their past with the thought that he might feel what she went through, protect, love and respect her.
However the man ends up putting her through the same thing. It is either he has his way, adds one child or gets mad at her for refusing to give her sex since she gave it to others. Women are looking for men who both love and respect them. A man who will accept her as he found her, see her as his equal partner and respect her views. A man who won’t use her weakness and mistakes against her but empower her to become better.
She may forget the man who loved her but will never forget the one who respected her. Men need to know, women don’t only need to be loved. She deserves to be respected whether she is fat or slim, tall or short, white or black, born-one or born-zero, virgin or not. A woman is a woman.
In conclusion, “Treat others as you want them to treat you. This is what the Law and the Prophets are all about” – Matthew 7:12 (CEV).