Nobody’s born a natural communicator. Like riding a bike or hitting a baseball, marriage communication is a skill you can learn. And good communication is the key to improving your relationship.
Communication in relationships is like a river. When thoughts and feelings flow smoothly between marriage partners it’s fun, feels good, and helps support everyone around. However, when communication flow is turbulent, it’s potentially dangerous and destructive. And when communication gets blocked, pressure builds up.
Then when the words start flowing again, they tend to come out suddenly in a damaging raging flood.
Because many married couples struggle with healthy communication, especially about important issues, it’s common for couples to avoid difficult conversations.
They share trickles of information back and forth about who’s going where when and who’s going to pick up the kids, without ever diving into the conversations that are actually most important to them. Overtime, the lack of a full communication flow dries up the passion and love between them.
What does great marriage communication look like? In a great relationship couples talk freely, openly, and feel safe sharing their most private thoughts. They comfortably and considerately verbalize their concerns and feelings when difficulties arise and voice their positive thoughts when things are good.
Both partners talk tactfully, staying far from attacking, hurtful or controlling comments. They listen attentively, trying to understand what their partner says with sympathy rather than looking for what’s wrong in what their partner has to say or dismissing what they hear, even if they have a different perspective.
And after talking, both people in the marriage feel good about the conversation, and feel like their concerns have been considered and addressed.They even look forward to the opportunity to talk with each other, whether about small things or bigger issues that require much work to resolve.
Great communication in relationships is a skill that you can learn.