Everything started in God, from God and by God. God instituted marriage, not man. Everything is written and coded in the book of Genesis. It all began in the garden of Eden. God made man (Adam) and later created a woman (Eve) out of the man. But only Adam and Eve were created a full grown adults. They did not experience childhood phases. They did not go through teenage phase. Neither did they went through young adulthood —they were created full grown adults to exhibit all the qualities of manhood and womanhood and that includes the qualities of a husband and wife.
Adam did not have to learn how to become husband to Eve, he was made with it. Eve did not have to learn how to become wife to Adam, she was created with it. Even if they were to learn how to live as husband and wife, who would they have learnt from? —Nobody! They were the very first human on earth. They started the human race, not as babies but as full grown matured adults.
When Adam saw the woman God created out of the rib He (God) took out of him, he (Adam) saw not just an opposite gender. He saw his female, his friend, his help mate, his soul mate, his destiny helper, his woman, his wife, and the mother of his children to be born. He saw a total woman full of all the qualities a woman should possess and exhibit. These are all the things a man should see in a woman before he approaches her for marriage. If she doesn’t possesses and exhibits all these, then she is not the right person for him to marry.
Above all, he must see that she had been made by God for him to marry. She should not still be a work in process. Eve was never a work in process when God brought her to Adam. She was a finished product well fashioned in qualities. So if you as a man marries a girl who is still a woman in process, there would be so much noise in the marriage because construction works are still going on in her.
She would not fit perfectly into so many things in your life, in the home, family and marriage. This is the major reason why many marriages are full of noises —the man and woman don’t fit. She is still a work in process for marriage. She is NOT a finished product for marriage, not a finished project for a home and a family.
Similarly, when Eve saw Adam, she knew she had been taken from him and made by God for Adam. When she heard all he (Adam) said about her, it touched her core being. She knew everything resonated with her make up inwardly. She did not only see an opposite gender in Adam — She saw her male, her friend, her help mate, her soul mate, her destiny mate, her man, her husband, and a father for her children to be born.
She saw a total man full of all the qualities a man should have and exhibit. These are all the things a woman should have already seen in a man before he even approaches her for marriage. If he doesn’t possesses and exhibits them, then she is not the right person for her to marry.
Above all, she should have known, if he is the man meant for her even before he proposes. She should have known if he is the very bone she was made from by God and made for by God. Every woman is made for a man. If you marry the man you were not made for, there would be so much noise in the marriage —both of you will not fit perfectly into each other. This is the real compatability —marrying the bone of your bone and the flesh of your flesh!
Certainly, we all are works in progress. But we should not be work in process when we get married. We should be finished products both the man and woman, just like Adam and Eve was in the garden, before God brought them together.
Adam was sleeping when God finished quality control works in Eve. He (Adam) was a finished product already for marriage, so he was sleeping. He wasn’t struggling with weaknesses and issues when he saw Eve. She (Eve) on the other hand was also a finished product for marriage before Adam saw her.
So there was no noise when they met and started living together as husband and wife. No husband quality development was still on going in Adam, it had been completed. No wife quality development was on going on Eve, it had been completed. So no noise was heard in their marriage until they fell into disobedience and sinned.
This is how a marriage should be —NOISELESS! Like how they built the temple of Solomon in the Bible. All blocks were perfectly cut to sizes, not in the temple but from other place — a quarry far away from the temple. The blocks were only brought together and fitted into each other in the temple —No noise was heard.
“In building the temple, only blocks dressed at the quarry were used, and no hammer, chisel or any other iron tool was heard at the temple site while it was being built” 1 kings 6 : 7 (NIV)
This is how you should be well cut and perfectly shaped for marry before you marry. Your quarry is God’s dealings in your life and your thorough self development in marital qualities. You should have been thoroughly cut and perfectly dressed for marriage with the hammer of God’s word. Chisel of strong self discipline and development should have prepared you adequately for husband and wifely responsibilities.
Other iron tools of books, messages, information, trainings, seminars, coaching, mentoring and discipleship etc should have correctly empowered and adequately equipped you for successful marriage life. All the pains, struggles and weaknesses that are making noises of disgrace in your life should have happened at the quarry, the period and phase of your singleness or single hood. All the noises of character lapses, attitude defects, behavioral madness, ignorant tantrums etc should have happened before marriage, not on marriage.
This is how a marriage should be —NOISELESS! Not all those noises we are hearing and seeing all around.
The man must have thoroughly worked on himself to develop and perfect all the qualities of a husband he should possess before looking for a wife to marry. The woman should have also worked on herself and develop all the qualities of a wife she should possess before thinking of marriage. So when both of them meet each other or find each and become joined together in holy matrimony, the joining would be noiseless.
Because the qualities of him as a husband would perfectly fit with and into the qualities of her as a wife. This is what is missing in marriages today and we must start correcting it. We should never allow a boy and a girl to marry any longer. They must have become a man with well developed husband qualities and a woman with well developed wife qualities before we join them together in holy matrimony.
The boy must have become a man, no longer a child. The girl should have also become a woman, not long a child. He must have developed the qualities of a husband before marriage. She too must have developed the qualities of a wife before marriage. Both of them should not be works in process for marriage but works in progress. They could be works in progress in the sense that, they would still continue to improve and upgrade themselves in qualities while in marriage.
This involves only quality maintenance, not quality designing and development. The designing and development should have happened long before they even met each other, while they were both bachelor and spinster. Only the quality maintenance should remain and be in progress when they marry. This is how an ideal marriage should be —NOISELESS! There should not be work in process in any quality that makes up a husband or a wife. There should only be work in progress in the marriage.
Then what are those qualities of a husband that a man should and must develop in himself before even thinking of going into a relationship? What are the qualities of a wife that a woman should have developed in herself before even thinking of getting married?
We will start looking into all these qualities one by one soon.
